Savior Dilema
by DaRkTeMpUr
Summary: One day, several characters from Saiyuki have the same dream that they are at a mahjong table. After getting bored of mahjong, each character presents what would've happened if one of them had saved Goku instead of Sanzo...
1. Mahjong Session

Author: Horrah for short chapters! Anyway... The Sanzo-ikkou are dreaming and get stuck in a dream with everyone else dreaming the same stuff. They basically start getting bored of mahjong and decide to come up with an interesting topic...What if Goku had been saved by someone other than Sanzo? What if it was Gojyo, Hakkai, Lirin, Shien, Zenon, Kougaiji, Gyokumen, Dr. Nii, Dokugakuji, or Yaone? Each character tells what _they_ would have done.

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It was a misty night. The moon was shining brightly through the window as the Sanzo-ikkou slept in their rooms. Gojyo was making strange noises in his sleep and Goku was snoring loudly. Hakkai seemed to sleep peacefully while Sanzo seemed to have a scowl on his face as he dozed off. They were not the only ones dreaming however…  
  
::Mystical Dream Sequence::  
  
"Where the Hell am I?" Sanzo grunted as he sat at a table recognizing the others at the table. "I honestly don't know. I seem to be having the same dream!" Hakkai chuckled, Gojyo growled while lighting a cigarette, "It interrupted my time with that girl…someone's going to die!" Goku yawned and rubbed his eyes, "Hey, what are you doing in my dream?" The rest of the group turned and realized where they were. They were at a black table with Mahjong tiles all over it. Surrounding the table was not only the Sanzo-ikkou, but Kougaiji, Lirin, Dokugakuji, Yaone, Shien, Zenon, Homura, Dr. Nii, Gyokumen… "SHUT UP OR I'LL KILL YOU!" Sanzo raised his gun to the unknown voice, "SHUT IT! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Goku shrunk in his seat, "That voice…it's saying what we're doing!" Sanzo whacked Goku, "Urusai, baka saru!" Goku rubbed his head. Kougaiji sighed, "Why are we all having the same dream? Is something supposed to happen?" Everyone looked at each other and waited for a while. Gojyo lit another cigarette, "It seems we're going to be here for awhile. Anyone have any cards?" Dokugakuji shook his head, picking up a mahjong tile, "All we have are these mahjong tiles." Homura sat bored, "Hey Goku? Wanna join me? I still need you to help me create a new heaven and earth!" Goku looked at him awkwardly, "Sorry, but Sanzo saved me, I owe him a debt, and I'm staying with him. Had you saved me, it might have been different…" Dokugakuji leaped up, "Now that's a topic!" Everyone stared at Doku, waiting for him to explain, "We should talk about how Goku would be if someone else had saved him instead of Sanzo!" "WHAAAAAAA?!" Goku said eyes wide open, "LIKE HELL!" Sanzo growled. Hakkai smiled, "It's not like it's real or anything…" Doku smiled seeing Hakkai was supporting him, "Brother, why don't we start with you? How do you think life would be like had you saved him?" Gojyo grinned, "Heh heh…this is a dream right? So I can show you instead of tell you?" Doku looked at Gojyo a little worried, "I suppose…" Gojyo smirked, "Okay then, here we go!"


	2. PINK! Or is it purple?

One day, Gojyo was out checking out chicks, getting hangovers, and smoking his brains out. He found that he had lost a bit of his charm to the women, and that he needed a new approach. So, he went to the Buddhist Temple down the way to pray for a way to get more women, though he wasn't much of a prayer. As soon as he prayed he went outside and heard some idiot with the most annoying voice he had ever heard crying. So he went to go see what it was. He went to this cave and in it was a boy looking no younger than 18, crying and trying to reach for a yellow bird. "You're crying over some damn bird?! This is pathetic…" The boy looked up and pointed to Gojyo's hair, "Dude! Your hair is PINK!" Gojyo sneered, "IT'S PURPLE!" The two began quarreling over this for quite a while until Gojyo came up with a plan. "Hey kid, I can let you go free with me if ya do what I say." Goku stared at the pink or purple or whatever colored hair man he had just been cursing at, "On one case…" Gojyo blinked, "What?" Goku grinned, "Give me lots and lots of meat buns!" Gojyo sighed, "Hell, why not." He then released Goku. Gojyo brought him into town and gave him different clothes and stuff. "Okay, see this meat bun?" Goku was gazing at it admiringly and wasn't paying attention to Gojyo. Gojyo mumbled something annoyingly and moved the meat bun up and down so Goku's head would follow it. "Just stay with me, act innocent and cute, and the delectable treat is yours." Goku snapped, "Got it!" So Goku acted cute and several women began gathering round just as Gojyo had wanted. "Oh yeah…" He thought.  
  
Gojyo, from then on, took Goku with him everywhere to get women. Gojyo would get Goku to act cute or sick or get him to go out of control so he could look like an expert when he handled him. Finally, one day, after many of these encounters and knowing exactly what was going on, Goku raised the question, "How do you do that?" Gojyo raised his brows, "Do what?" Goku smiled, "You know…that thing you do with girls in the bedroom alone without anyone else!" Gojyo grinned, "Well…"  
  
Whack!  
  
Sanzo growled at Gojyo's sick story, "Why don't we just move on, so his little story doesn't get out of hand?" Hakkai smiled, "I guess it's my turn!"

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Author: The creators of Saiyuki didn't seem to be able to decide what color Gojyo or Kenren's hair was: "You with the long purple hair!" Some say pink, some say purple...some say red...but my heart says it's PINK!

Gojyo: IT'S PURPLE DAMNIT!


	3. Happy Go Lucky

Hakkai drove happily down the happy road, under the happy trees, happy birds, happy sky, and…well, let's just say lots of things were happy. He stopped by a Buddhist Temple to visit his Best Friend in the World Genjo Sanzo. But before reaching the temple, interrupting the vast happiness, he heard a cry. Hakkai ran to find the source, finding a heartbroken boy reaching out to a dead bird, "Are you okay?" Goku sniffed, "Who are you?" Hakkai smiled, "I'm Cho Hakkai! What's your name?" "Goku." "Well Goku, you must be tired of being in there, would you like me to free you?" Goku nodded in astonishment, "Good!" Hakkai happily freed Goku. When he got Goku, he taught him everything about being happy. He taught him how to be polite and use table manners. When Hakkai brought Goku to his Best Friend in the World Genjo Sanzo he looked at him strangely, "He's too polite Hakkai. I want him to fight some PINK haired dude and curse so I can use this shitty fan that I bought at the all-Japanese Goodwill! Then I want to whack him and the PINK haired dude in the head and say, "BAKA SARU!" It's just too damn creepy." Hakkai and Goku just stood there smiling in their happiness. So they drove along in a happy jeep/dragon, on a happy road, with a happy sun, and a happy sky, and…  
  
AND THEN THE PURPLE, NOT PINK HAIRED DUDE RAIDS THEIR JEEP, FINDING LOADS AND LOADS OF CRACK, ENDING THEIR HAPPINESS SO THEY CAN'T EVER USE THAT DAMN WORD AGAIN!!  
  
"DAMNIT GOJYO!" Sanzo whacked him on the head, "This is his story!" Gojyo rubbed his head, "To…much…happy this, happy that, happiness! Ahhhhhh!!!!" "I didn't have much more to add anyway!" Hakkai chuckled. Everyone looked to the next person in the circle, Lirin. Lirin hopped up and down, "I know JUST what I'd do!" "That's what I'm afraid of…" mumbled Sanzo…

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Author: So _that's_ the secret to Hakkai's happiness.... 


	4. MEAT BUNS!

One day, Lirin was flying around on Oniichan's dragon when she heard a big "WHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!" Lirin decided to go see what it was but accidently landed her giant boulder on top of a Buddhist Temple. When Lirin found the voice, she saw a cute little boy, about her age, reaching out to a bird, "Hey! Do you wanna play?!" She seemed to be ignoring the boy's sadness. The boy looked up at oddly, "Does that mean you'll take me out of here?" Lirin nodded and got him out, "I'm Lirin!" Goku was excited, "I'm Goku!" Lirin took Goku into town and they went and caused havoc, stealing all of the meat buns in town. Then, they would eat the meat buns and cause more havoc. Everything was like this until one day, a Sanzo priest, we shall call him Baldy, came into town. Baldy was very upset, "You damn children destroyed the temple!" Lirin covered her mouth, "I did? I'm soooo sorry…It won't happen ever again!" Baldy looked at Lirin (who was incredibly cute) and decided she wasn't guilty, but the boy had to die. "Ow! Don't hurt me!" Goku whined as Baldy hit him with a cheap fan, "DIEEEEEE!!!!" Goku cried, "What did I do?" Baldy stopped and thought for a second, "Don't know, don't care, I just need someone to let out my anger on!" Baldy continued to whack Goku, "Now that's not very nice! Sick em Oniichan!" At that moment, Kougaiji came out and beat the living daylights out of Baldy. "HORRAH!" They all sung in unison. Then, when they least expected it, Baldy got up and turned into a GIANT MAN-EATING MEAT BUN! Kougaiji trembled in fear but Goku and Lirin easily defeated Meat bun Baldy by eating the WHOLE THING! But then, out of nowhere, A PINK HAIRED MEAT BUN APPEARED!  
  
PINK?!  
  
But, just as they were about to eat it, it began to smoke (which is bad for your health ESPECIALLY meat buns!) and it became a cooked meat bun!  
  
STOP IT DAMNIT! JUST STOP IT!  
  
Goku was screaming, "Are you trying to make me suffer?! I'm starving!" Sanzo growled, "That is the dumbest story I ever heard. Let's move on before Hakkai becomes a giant meat bun!" Lirin sat back and pouted. "Who's next?" Said Hakkai looking next to Lirin. "Yaone?" Yaone blushed, "Well, I'm not very good at telling stories, but here I go!"

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Author: ::turns into a meat bun:: Mwahaha! Feel my wrath!


	5. Clueless Frustration

Yaone was one day just randomly wandering around a Buddhist Temple feeling all nice and stuff. She felt like she really needed to hug a puppy or fuzzy warm thing or something…  
  
GOD THAT SOUNDED WRONG! "Shut up Gojyo!" whack  
  
Anyway…then she heard some crying and went to a cold cave where a miserable cute little boy was sitting. "Hello little boy!" Goku stared at her for a minute, expecting her to pull him out as he reached his hand out. Yaone stared at his hand for a second and smiled. She then began shaking it, "I'm Yaone!" Goku sighed, "I'm Goku…" Yaone sat down, "So, why are you here?" Goku jingled his chains, "I don't know…it'd be nice to be out though…" Yaone smiled, "Yes, it would be." Goku smiled at her hopefully. "So how long have you been here?" Yaone asked causing Goku to fall back in frustration, "I don't know!" Yaone continued to smile, "You know, you're really cute." Goku stared at her baffled, "I'd be cuter if I was out of here…" "Yes you would be. How long have you been cute?" Goku growled and held his head, "I don't know!" Yaone continued to stare at his cuteness, "Do you have any friends?" Goku shouted, "WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT DEAD BIRD WAS?!" Yaone stared at the bird, "Did it have a heart attack?" Goku screamed, "I-DON'T-KNOW-LADY!" Yaone giggled, "I think it taw a puty cat!" Goku groaned in frustration, "WILL YOU JUST FRICKIN FREE ME ALREADY?!" Yaone stared at him in question, "Why would you want to be free?" Goku fell back, astonished at the woman's cluelessness, "Didn't I already tell you?! I'm lonely!" Yaone though for a minute, "Oh yeah….why's that?" Goku began bouncing up and down screaming some words we won't say because of the rating and because the author is just plain lazy. Yaone looked at the bird, "Oh, do you want me to see if I can help your friend? Ok! If I don't come back, it means he didn't make it!" Goku's face grew red, "LADY! JUST LET ME OUT!" Yaone smiled and waved, "Bye bye!" Goku sat trying to figure exactly what had just happened, "Is everyone this stupid nowadays?"  
  
Everyone at the table just stared at Yaone, "Ummm…that's sort of a good story I guess?" Sanzo snorted, "Of course it's not. She never even freed the damn saru." Yaone frowned, "I told you I'm not very good at telling stories…" "Who's next?" Hakkai chimed in a cheerful tone, "Me…and Mister Bunny…" Dr. Nii waved his mutilated bunny doll's hand at everyone. Everyone sweat dropped.

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Author: I give my friend Naki, credit for the Yaone idea. The idea of making her even more clueless than intended was mine.


	6. PLUSHIES!

F.Y.I. I suck at paragraphing!

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Dr. Nii was at a Buddhist Temple to steal a scripture for some evil bitch. He was also trying to find a way that he wouldn't be bored anymore. He and Mister Bunny suddenly heard a cry and were bored, so they went to go and find the noise. They found a boy crying, reaching for a bird. "Holy raining bunny dolls!" Dr. Nii exclaimed. The boy instantly stopped looking at Dr. Nii. Nii grinned, "Who needs birds when you've got Mister Bunny?!" Nii took Mister Bunny and slapped Goku upside the head, "Ow! What was that for?" Nii held his hand out, "You must find the essence and happiness behind Mister Bunny!" Goku shrank and tried to avoid the gaze of the Bunny Doll, "Dude…you're creepy!" Nii smiled and grabbed Goku's hand taking him out. Nii took Goku against his will to Kougaiji's castle. There, he put bunny ears on Goku and began glomping him. Kougaiji suddenly busted the door through in the middle of the glomping, "Have you gotten that damn-….WHAT THE HELL?!" Nii grinned, "S'mine!" Kougaiji sweat dropped, "Umm….where'd you get that?" Nii hugged Goku, smushing his lungs, "I found him." "Where?" "In a cave near the temple." Kougaiji glared at the disfigured doctor, "YOU WENT TO THE TEMPLE AND NEVER GOT THE SCRIPTURES?!" Nii frowned, "But his eyes are gold and shiny!" Kougaiji sighed, "You can keep him, but get the scriptures!" Nii nodded and continued to glomp Goku.  
  
That night Goku was in his bunny decorated room Nii had given him. He wasn't used to THAT kind of attention. "That was frickin weird…" he thought. The next day, Nii was happier than ever, "You aren't exactly a bunny doll…hmmm…" Dr. Huang interrupted, "Ahem…" Nii growled, "WHAT?!" Huang fell back from Nii's outburst, "Aren't we going to get the scriptures?" Nii calmed and smirked. Nii walked up to Huang raising his face close to hers. Huang felt a shiver down her spine when Dr. Nii grabbed her shoulder, facing her towards Goku, "What animal does he remind you of?" Huang sighed, "He's Goku. He was born where the earths aura gathers, and he is the monkey king, thus…he is a monkey." Nii leaped up and down, "YES! PERFECT! A MONKEY!" To Goku's surprise, he didn't dress him up in something ridiculous, rather a normal set of clothes. Then Nii handed him a box, "A present for you from me and Mister Bunny!" Goku opened the box to find a demented looking monkey plushie. Goku's golden eyes widened, "YAY!" He happily squeezed the plush toy and then hugged Dr. Nii.  
  
From then on, Dr. Nii and Goku got along. Nii got Goku to help him get the scriptures and let all the youkai go insane. Then, he and Goku would play dollies with their plush toys! Then, they would glomp each other! Then he and Goku would creep out Kougaiji for fun and harass Dr. Huang! Goku began wearing glasses and a lab coat and began even picking up the crappy flow of tone in Nii's voice! Goku became Nii's little lab assistant and then they would glomp. Then they would do other stuff and glomp. And finally, if they got bored they would glo-  
  
"WILL YOU SHUT UP?!" Kougaiji threatened Nii with a fire ball. Everyone was giving Nii odd looks…except Goku. Goku's eyes were wide, "Actually, I wouldn't mind having a disfigured monkey plushie!" Sanzo readied his fan when Kou grabbed it, "Can I?" Sanzo nodded, "Fine." Kougaiji whacked Goku on the head with Sanzo's fan, harder than Sanzo. Goku whined, "But…" Kou whacked him again and again and again. "Um..Kou?" Kou was busy whacking Goku, "Kou?" Still busy…"KOUGAIJI!!!" Kougaiji stopped seeing Doku screaming at him, "IT'S YOUR TURN!" Kougaiji huffed and tossed the fan aside. Sanzo watched his fan fly no further than 10 feet behind him, "Hey saru." Goku rubbed his head, "Huh?" Sanzo motioned behind him to the fan, "Go get it." Goku snapped, "Why should I get it? You're closer!" Goku felt the cold barrel of a gun against his temple. He heard it click, "Here…" he said handing the cheap fan to the monk. Sanzo grabbed the fan and put it somewhere, "Good monkey." Kougaiji smiled, "Be prepared…"

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Author: The only reason this chapter seems longer is because I'm a HUGE Dr. Nii fan. He's like my idol. Except instead of having a disfigured bunny doll...I have a grunty mwahahaha! Again, thanks Naki for the idea of putting Goku in a bunny costume and having Nii hug him for enjoyment. By the way...THE DISFIGURED MONKEY PLUSHIE IS MY CHARACTER! NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE IT! MWAHAHA!

P.S. Sorry for all of the glomping, I'm on a sugar rush!


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